A bad, bad day...

[Kneetroll]

Oh god.

I know you're all probably sick of hearing about this lol, so just ignore me, but I had to write it somewhere and here seemed as good a place as any.

We spoke to one of Jim's closest friends today and found out that last Tuesday was his 23rd birthday, he killed himself on the Thursday and his parents found him on the Saturday cos he hadn't showed up to their house on the Friday.

I just keep thinking that if he hadn't have lost his job he wouldn't have done it and that someone could have stopped it from happening. Me and Chantelle spent quite literally 10 hours of work talking about him non stop today.

We just can't believe he's gone. Honestly, whenever his usual extension number rings, I for a moment brighten up and think "ooh, it's Jim" but then realise it can't possibly be him.

I just want him back where he should be, in work with the rest of us, having a laugh and a joke like we always have.

I spoke to his Dad on Wednesday, who called up to pass on the funeral details for him. I think it hit me properly then, because it was the first time I'd cried about it. I mean.... burying Jim!? That's just not normal. Not Jim.

His funeral's a week on Monday, so me and Chantelle are attending the church service, the burial and the function afterwards. Work are stretching themselves to let me leave a whopping fifteen minutes early to go.

I know this is a long post, so... sorry. You don't even have to reply or anything, I just felt like writing it. I miss my li'l Jimmy-Jams so much

[BHA]

i'm so sorry Kneetroll
I know anything i try to say won't sound intelligent so i will just send my best wishes to everyone involved.
xxx

[DreamDangerously]

Like I said before, grief is an ongoing process, if you need to get things out and written down you know you can do it here and we'll all look out for you or just make appreciative noises or whatever you need.

x

[Kneetroll]

"appreciative noises" I like it thanks.

[DreamDangerously]

hehe

[Fassbender Fan]

I don't know what else to say..
but I feel compelled to reply..
We'll all be thinking of you and even Jim though we don't know him on the day of his funeral. Funerals are usually hard because thats when you cry, you don't think you will but you do but you also get to share it with everyone else there and you can celebrate his life with all the people that loved him...

*appreciative noises*

[Kneetroll]

His funeral's gonna be surreal. Obviously I want to go but I'm not looking forward to it. Still, like you said, we've all been having a right laugh over what a wally he used to be hehe.

[Darkqueengalore]

I'm really sorry to hear that , extremly sad & with suiside there are always going to be questions as in why?, i don't what else to say other than i am very very sorry for your loss *hugs*.

[Kneetroll]

Thanks I'm feeling better about it now than I was.

[Kneetroll]

Well the funeral was today. The church service was a really nice Catholic service. His parents and sister said a few words each and everyone sung hymns and such. A sad service, but a good one.

Next, obviously was the burial. Well, me and Chantelle got so lost we ended up missing the whole thing. We got there just as people were leaving which was so embarrassing, cos we had to speak to his Nan and Aunt when we got there.

To make up for it we decided to go to the function in a social club and chat to a few people there. Again, we got so lost we ended up just coming home instead.

I just feel like I haven't had the chance to have proper closure on the whole thing, it's horrible, we should have gotten there on time.

What a shitty day.

[DreamDangerously]

At least you were there for the service and it was a nice service. The grave-side bit of a funeral is horrible. You just need to say your goodbyes to him. You could always go and visit his grave maybe once his stones up if you feel up to it?

[Kneetroll]

It's too far away for me to get to, and I'm not asking my parents to drive me there cos it doesn't really concern them. I don't want them waiting for me in the car or anything like that.

[tomiss]

Now they are angels ...Bless them God...and Take them into Your guidence... Kisses for U Kneetroll :*

[/li][li] [/li][li] [/li][li]

[Yuffie]

You can't really think of something as "If he wouldn't of lost his job..." Because it happened and stuff. I know it's hard to get over a loss, and it will take time to heal. But things will get better.

Because you didn't get chance to say goodbye at the funeral. Take a day out, and go see his grave. Take a few flowers, and say your goodbyes then.

[Kneetroll]

The one year anniversary is in April, so I may go then. not long after he died, his girlfriend gave birth to a little boy, and she gave him the middle name "jim" after his daddy.