Love is a Sacrifice (Fan Fiction)

[Desultory]

***

"... So, I sneaked into her room, and..." Thelma raised the plastic bag containing the mass of hair that was once Roxanne Davenport's fringe, grinning. Cassie laughed heartily as she sat on the hard matress of her bed in the.. the institute. This pleased Thelma, she could see twinges of the old Cass emerge slowly. Maybe, when this was all over, they could finally be happy together? Thelmas daydream was broken by her blonde friend, who smiled wistfully at her, drawing her closer to her.

"It's been hard, Thelma. Really hard. I've had a lot of demons to conquer. But I'm not mad, really I'm not." Cassie bowed her head, feeling ashamed that her relationship with Thelma had gone so.. so askew. So twisted. But her head was back on track now, and she knew what direction she wanted to take. And who to take it with.

"You needed help, Cass. Help I couldn't give... therapy." Thelma looked longingly at her companion, trying to sound serious yet feeling as though she were about to cry.
"You're the only therapy I need. You're the only one who understands me. I might have said this many times, unsure of whether I meant it or not, but - I love you, Thelma Bates." Cassie pulled herself into a tight hug with her spiky-haired lover, and then slid her quivering lips down towards hers.

As she embraced Thelma, capturing her lips with a deep kiss, one which Thelma had not seen the likes of for weeks, since this had all began, the pair could feel each other - connecting. Like they should have been all those times before...

"Visiting time is over," a cold, monotone voice cut their embrace short. Thelma could feel one of the "attendants" tapping her shoulder harshly, not unaware, but uncaring of their closeness. It was all about regulations, sharp, short and sour. A tear emerged in the corner of Cassie's eye as Thelma was pulled softly away from her. "Please.. don't go.. don't leave me..." she said, sobbing, and extending her arms hoping Thelma would find herself in them once more. She, too was crying, as she was ushered towards the door...

[Fassbender Fan]

Thelma's hand disappeared into the water, the splashing ceased and the lake was once again still. Silent. Cassie screamed for her friend but no sound excaped..she tried to reach the lake, to save her but her legs wouldn't move. Tears streamed down her cheeks, red with frustration

"THELMA!" Cassie screamed as she awakened, bolt upright in her bed, reality came rushing back. She looked around the room. It wasn't her room, it was cold and clincal.

Sweat ran across the blonde's forehead and her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath and reassure herself. It was only a dream. Thelma wasn't dead.

Awash with panic and confusion she began to cry uncontrollably. Curling herself into a ball she wept until she could cry no more. Her pillow wet from tears she got up.

She walked to the window but it was barred, who said this wasn't a prison? She turned instead towards the door, it was unlocked..

[Jimjamz]

She walked down the long, dark corridor. When she was younger, Cassie had been terrified of the dark the most. Not now though. So many scary things had already happened to her. They happened every night, in terrifying dreams that would wake her up screaming. She wasnt afraid any more.
Starting to feel a chill, she wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she'd thought to take her dressing gown with her. She vaguely wondered where all the staff were, at the beginning of her stay she'd had someone sitting outside her room, all night, occasionaly looking in to check she was okay. Suicide watch.
She thought she heard the faint sound of her name being called. It sounded like Thelma. She quickened her pace, following in the general direction of the voice. It was getting louder. She turned a corner, excitement pulsing through her veins. She knew Thelma would find a way to come back. She took the next corridor at a run, not really caring where she was going. The voice suddenly stopped.
She hadnt been looking where she was going. Suddenly she felt the ground vanish beneath her, and was falling...

[Desultory]

Thelma sat with Cassie in the ambulance, nervously shaking as she gripped her cold hand tightly.
"Wake up, Cassie... wake up... please..." the salty taste of a tear stung her lips as she leaned closer to Cassie, stroking her silky blonde hair, and caressing her lifeless face. "You're strong, Cass, and I know it. We can get through this... but why? I.. I thought you were getting over this, but now... oh Cass, I love you. Please, please wake up..."

Thelma stared at the tubes, the monitors hooked up to her friend in disbelief. Surely Cassie wouldn't have done this to herself, she couldn't. She had seemed so different today.. so warm and loving, not clinical and decisive as she had been by the lake - yes, she had said that she loved Thelma, but it had become morphed to something wrong those seven days ago. She had changed so much since then... Cassie had finally been open with Thelma, and she knew how she truly felt from that kiss that they had shared. She prayed that it would not be their last...

[Jimjamz]

Thelma spent all of the time she could by Cassie's bedside, holding onto her hand, the one punctured with numerous tubes. Thelma didnt no why there were so many. She hated to look at the huge bandage covering up her lovely blonde hair. Cassie had always been pale, but now she was white.
The tests at the hospital had revealed several broken ribs, two broken arms, and a punctured lung. That wasnt the worst of it though. Thelma would never forget the moment the doctor had told her about Cassie's severe head injurys...the possibility of brain damage.
It was now the fourth day since Cassie's accident. The first 48 hours had been critical, and she had been so worried she wouldnt pull through. She hadnt ate in so long, but she had no desire for food. The same with sleep, too. A kindly nurse had tried to make her eat several times, but she was always refusing. If she left for even a minute, Cassie could slip away. She had to stay there at all times, and luckily the doctors let her.
"...and remember that time we went to see Grateful Dead" Thelma never stopped talking to her, hoping all of her chatter would make Cassie open her eyes, "You didnt even like them, but you still pretended you enjoyed it, even though we were both practically fainting by the end of it" She smoothed back one of the only visible strands of hair, and planted a kiss on her cheek.
Still Cassie lay there, totally oblivious to anything. Thelma gave a small sob, and buryed her face in Cassies chest.
"P-please...Cass, wake up, I-I c-c-cant live...live w-w-ithout y-y-you" She said, wetting the covers with tears, "Th-this is k-k-killing me, Cass, I-I-...I just want you back"
Everyone thought Cassie had thrown herself down that huge flight of stairs, but Thelma knew she hadnt. It was an accident, she could just tell. As well as being distraught and fraught with worry, she was also very angry with the staff at the...institution. Someone should've been there at all times. They'd failed Cassie, and Thelma wasnt willing to stand by and fail her all over again, by letting them rule it as attempted suicide. They werent getting away with this.

[Fassbender Fan]

Sunlight filled the room lighting up the colourless box as Thelma opened awoke. Rubbing her eyes she sleepily glanced at Cassie suddenly realising where she was.

In her dreamful state Thelma had been happy, Cassie had been awake and at that moment she was asleep in their dorm room. But alas, she had fallen asleep in the chair beside Cassie's hospital bed. It was all true. All a little too real.

The machines rythmatic beeping steadied Thelma's heart, as long as she could hear that everything was ok. But everything was not ok, none of this should have ever happened. Cassie didn't deserve this.

Taking her friends cold hand into her own Thelma kissed it sadly. She looked at her face, still and quiet as if she were in a deep sleep.."Wake up Cassie, please"

Their tender moment was interrupted by a nurse doing the early morning rounds.

"Good morning Miss, if you don't mind I have to check Miss Hughe's vitals.." She grinned at Thelma who thought she looked a little too happy. This room was not a happy one. What right did she have to stand there grinning at her like a buffoon.

Thelma glared and felt her cheeks grow red, she got up from the bed and stood behind the nurse controlling her tears with slow breaths.

"Do they know who it was?"

"Sorry Miss?" The nurse kept her back to Thelma

"Are you deaf? Do they know who it was? Who did this? Who pushed her? Who tried to kill her?!" Thelma's voice echoed through the tiny room loudly, her anger no longer controlled. Tears streamed down her face as she stared angrily into the shocked Nurses' eyes waiting for her answer.

"Miss..I...it was an accident. There was nobody...I.." She stumbled across her words in fear and in the same manner stumbled across the foot of the bed escaping the room.

Thelma regained her position at the foot of the bed stroking the bed clothes "I won't let them get away with this. I will find them. I promise." A slight smile creeped across her wearied face but it was not a smile of joy but of revenge.

[Desultory]

"Please, Miss, if you don't calm down, I'll have to ask you to leave," the nurse motioned towards the door, as she herslef hurried through it. Thelma, worried that she would be taken awy from Cassie, calmed down. However, she was sure that Cassie wouldn't have done this to herself. That she knew. As the nurse turned and left the room, Thelma once again began to talk in hushed tones with her friend, who lay lifeless on the hospital bed; the only signs that showed she was alive was the gentle rising and falling of her chest, and the regular bleeping of the monitors.

"Cass, I know you wouldn't have done this. You couldn't. You.. you were just beginning to become.. become you again. And that kiss... I knew it meant something. I could feel you. The way you felt. Before, at Medenham, you'd say these things, but I could tell you never meant them..." She tentatively placed her hand on Cassie's cheek, feeling her pale skin which was cold to the touch. "Wake up, please... we can find a way out of this together..."

Thelma felt her hand tense, as Cassie squeezed it tightly - surely this was a good sign? Before she had been limp, lifeless - but the signs were there and plain to see - she was responding to Thelma's heartfelt words. "Cassie, if you can hear me, do that again... I knew you'd get through this..." Thelma smiled, excited and at the same time scared. She waited. And waited. But the touch from Cassies lifeless fingers that she so eagerly awaited never came... Maybe it was just a reflex, Thelma thought, as a tear ran down her cheek.

[Fassbender Fan]

Thelma, exhausted emotionally and physically loosened her grip upon Cassie's hand. She looked at her friend contemplating life without her. Again a lone tear escaped and slowly made its way down her cheek...

Wiping it away with the back of her hand Thelma got up and walked toward the window. Peering through the cold bars, painted white but peeling with rust, she gazed out across the lawns. Birds sang in the trees and for a moment everything seemed perfect. Serene even. Thelma closed her eyes and let the warm sun fall upon her face, her fingers twisting round the bars..

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Noo...please no this can't be happening..." her hands were pulled away by the rush of doctors and nurses surrounding Cassie's bed..the noise of the machine deafening Thelma. She covered her ears with her hands to block out the continous sound. The sound that meant the worst..that Cassie's heart was no longer beating.

[Jimjamz]

"Not Cass....No! Please, d-do something! Not my Cassie" She sobbed, hundreds of tears streaming down her cheeks. She tried to reach out, but felt herself being pulled back. She struggled for a few seconds, then gave up. She stared in horror as Cassie was wheeled out the room.

"Noooo" She cried out, collapsing onto the floor. A kindly attendant picked her up, and guided her out the room.

"What are they doing? She's not...shes not" She said, staring up the corridor where Cassie had been taken.

"Theyre doing all they can for her" The attendant said, taking her to a door labelled 'family room', one that Thelma looked at in horror. In all the TV programs she'd watched, the family room was somewhere were the relatives waited to be told there loved ones were dead. Forever gone...

"Oh god, dont take me in here! I need to see her" She screamed, wrenching free from the attendant and running up the corridors, following the signs labelled 'resus'. He followed her, but was not quick enough to catch up. She finally reached the double doors leading into the room, and burst through them.

Cassie was lying on the bed, surounded by a group of doctors and nurses. An important looking man called for something. Thelma wasnt listening. She just stared in a kind of horrified fascination as they beat on Cassie's chest, injected her with numerous strange looking substances. The line on the monitor was flat, occasionly puncuated by the odd bump. Thelma suddenly felt a bit more positive, surely that meant her heart hadnt stopped completely? The doctors were so immersed into saving the blonde they hadnt realised Thelmas presence in the room. The attendant burst through the doors, panting from the effort of the chase. He spotted Thelma, and grabbed her arm.

"There you are..."

[Desultory]

"I'm not leaving! I.. I can't leave her. Please, let me stay." Thelma said, her words jumpy due to her sobs.
"The doctors will do their best for her, Miss. But they can't have someone acting all hysterical in the background - it won't help your friend any." The attendant replied in a soft tone. Obviously he was trying to comfort her, but it was no use, as Thelma continued her muffled crying.

She pushed her way past the various doctors and nurses, desperate to get a glimpse of Cassie's face. She needed to see her, just to have her in view was comforting. Surely she couldn't be... no, she had felt her grip her hand back there in Cassie's room, and reflex or not, surely it was a sign. A sign that Cassie was going to get better. She couldn't live without her, this she had realised over the past few weeks, and even though their relationship had been.. dead when they were supposed to be lovers, now that Cassie was so close to death, she had realised how she truly felt. In some twisted way, her sickness had made them both realise...

"Cass, I need you. I love you. Plain and simple. Please, pull through this. For me. For us..."

She stroked Cassie's face gently and lovingly one last time as she was wrenched from her friend by the attendant. She bagan once again to weep as she was pulled away from her, towards the door. Looking longingly back at the lifeless Cassie, who jumped angrily each time the doctors surged her with electricity, in desperation to restart her ailing heart, Thelma mouthed three words, which she meant with every inch of her heart and soul. "I love you."
And as those wordsescaped her trembling lips, a soft, steady bleeping returned to the monitor beside Cassie.

[Jimjamz]

Thelma was drained, emotionally and physically. In the last few days she had felt panic, fear, worry, excitement, over and over again. Seeing Cassie seconds away from death had left scars on her soul that she would bare for the rest of her life.
The doctors had brought Cassie back, but not completely. She was still in a coma, but at the moment this didnt matter one bit to Thelma. She was alive, and breathing, even if it was the machines doing most of it for her. She was back on the critical list. Thelma was sitting in a doctors office now, getting things explained.
"Were not completely sure what caused Cassies heart to stop, but we think it may have been something to do with her head injurys" The consultant said, in that flat, emotionless voice Thelma had gotten used to from the medical staff.
"I dont understand" Thelma was trying her best to follow his words, but her mind kept wondering back to Cassie, lying in ICU all alone, "How would head injurys...how would they effect her heart?"
"The brain may have stopped sending signals to her heart, so it stopped beating"
"Could that mean..." Thelma said, sobs beginning to rack her voice as the full impact of what she thought he was saying hit her, "Is Cassie...does that mean she's brain dead?"
"Thankfully not" Thelma felt a rush of relief, "In brain injurys, different parts can be affected. We'll be sending Cassie for an MRI tomorow, so we can fully acess the extent of the damage"
"When Cassie wakes up...will...w-will she know who I am? will she b-b-be able to walk? To t-talk?" The sobs returned, as Thelma imagined a totally different Cassie waking up. A brain damaged Cassie. This wasnt fair...
"We cant be sure yet" The doctor gave her a weak smile. How on earth could he smile?
"Can I go and see her now?" Thelma asked, standing up.
"You've had a hard time, miss Bates. We'd like you to go home for a bit, have a sleep in your own bed, freshen up. Cassie is in completely safe hands"
"I dont want to go...I-Im not leaving after what just happened there...I'll sleep next to Cassie again"
"Miss Bates, this is a hospital, and our job is to look after patients health, and occasionly there worried friends...Your looking pale, and I know you havent ate for days...Your not helping yourself by doing this" The consultant got up, walked towards the door and held it open for the worried girl, "We'll arrange a taxi for you, if you like"
"No, Im fine, thank you. If you want me to eat so badly I'll get something at the canteen. Then Im going to sit by Cassie. You cant make me go" She gave the doctor a hard glare, before walking through the open door towards Cassie's room..

[Fassbender Fan]

Begrudgingly munching on some much needed food Thelma sat beside Cassie's bed, the now familiar sound of the machines comforted her as she ate.

The doctors had told her Cassie may be able to hear Thelma speaking so she should try as often as she could...

---

Cassie's eyes flickered open and the bright sun warmed her face, rubbing her eyes she looked around her. The sky was bright and clear, bluer than she had ever seen before.

She could her a voice in the distance but it was too quiet to make out who was speaking...it suddenly occurred to Cassie that she didn't know where she was. Looking down she was dressed in a white hospital gown and had a tag around her writst; she was barefoot but she could not feel the cold. Or the wind. She could not feel anything. Confused she looked around for her companion.. "Thelma. Thelma where are you?"

Brushing the hair from her eyes she began to panic and she began to run. After what seemed like a lifetime running Cassie stopped and found herself in the spot where she had found herself at first. The wet grass tickled the skin on her feet; it seemed to spread for miles, there was no sign of another person, aside from a single tree she was entirely alone..

Unable to control her frustration she began to cry, collapsing to the ground she sobbed shaking as she did so. Where was she? Where was Thelma? She was at a loss...

[Jimjamz]

"...and really...do this...love you..."
The voice in the distance was occasionly growing louder, but it wasnt making a bit of sense to Cassie. It sounded very like Thelma. If she could hear her, why couldnt she see her? She spun around, desperatly trying to seek out her spiky haired friend, but still there was no site of her.
"hear me...squeeze my hand" Thelma said. Cassie looked down at her hands, very confused. There was no other hand there, but this was the first sentence she understood. She clenched both fists into tight balls, and waited...
********************************************

"There going to do tests on you tomorow" Thelma was saying. She took one of Cassie's hands into her own and stared at her lifeless face. "To see how bad your head injurys are...but I cant wait until tomorow, I need to no now if the real you is still in there. Cass...You've did this once before, but I want to know. If you can hear me...squeeze my hand"
She turned her gaze onto the entwined hands. Around half a minute passed. Sighing, she again looked up at Cassie's face, and started to pull her hand away. Just before her fingers left the blondes, she felt them tense.
"Do it again..." She said, staring down in disbelief. This time she seen it. Not just one, but both of Cassies hands clenching.
Grinning, feeling the happiest she had in days, she leaned forward and kissed Cassies cheek. She could hear her, she knew that now. A nurse walked in, carrying a tray full of medicine.
"She squeezed my hand!" She said happily. The nurse gently smiled at her, and placed her load onto the bedside table.
"You must get too excited, Miss Bates" She said, getting some injection ready "Sometimes it happens in coma patients. Probably just a reflex"
"It happened before. But this time is different. I asked her to squeeze it, and she did. Then I told her to squeeze it again, and she did! She can hear me!"
"Well, it looks like Miss Hughes could be on the mend" The nurse grinned at her, and injected the yellowy liquid into one of Cassie's many drips. Thelma felt so happy she could burst.
"Does this mean...I mean, in other patients...will she wake up soon?" She gazed longingly at Cassie's face, which she hadnt seen any expression in for so long. Struck by an idea, she leaned forward.
"Come on, I know you can hear me now. Open those blue eyes for me" She whispered quietly...

[Desultory]

Cassie could hear Thelma's voice whispering to her, from what seemed an impossible distance. "Open those blue eyes for me, Cass. I know you can hear me. I lo..."

"..ve you." Thelma's affectionate message was finished by a voice which she recognised so well - Cassie. Slowly, a weak smile crept across her once lifeless face, her pale lips trembling as if she had not moved them for days. The three words which Thelma had used most often with Cassie had done something miraculous... or so it had seemed. She had never believed the "love conquers all" rubbish she had seen in so many films, but today it seemed so real. Cassie's eyelid twitched for a moment, until slowly but surely the deep blue of her eye began to emerge - gazing lovingly back at Thelma. Their hands squeezed tightly together, and a lone tear, this time of happiness like that which she had never felt before, escaped from the corner of Thelma's eye.

"Say it again, Cass, if you mean it..."

[Jimjamz]

"...Love you" Cassie said weakly. She tore her gaze from Thelma, and looked around the room, taking in all the tubes and monitors around her. She blinked a few times, as though the effort of keeping her eyes open was too much to bear. She looked at the nurse in a disorientated way, who quickly left the room, sensing the two girls needed to be left alone.
"How do you feel?" Thelma asked, her voice shaking from emotion. She didnt want Cassie to see her cry, but she couldnt help it.
"Hurts...Th-Thelma...where? Why do I...feel so funny?" She looked back at the spiky haired girl, who was now slowly caressing her cheek.
"Dont you remember?" Thelma whispered tenderly.
"Remember...no...how long?" Thelma could tell it was taking her friend a great deal of effort to speak, and she was doing the best she could to understand her half sentences.
"You fell down the stairs...lots of stairs. You've been out of it for just over a week. You nearly died..." She said sadly, the memory of the past few days coming back to haunt her.
"Stairs? Nearly died?" Cassie repeated, her voice growing a little stronger, "Where...I feel strange...whats wrong?"
"Well, just a couple of broken bones, fractured skull...bruising to the brain.." Cassie's eyes widened in shock, as Thelma listed her injurys.
"Cant hardly move" She said, her voice growing high pitched with panic. She looked down at her feet, her breathing getting heavier.
"Cassie, dont panic, you'll make yourself ill" Thelma leaned over and kissed her, calming the blonde, "Your not paralysed. Its just the drugs. You've had god knows how many pumped into you, its a wonder you can talk"
"So tired" She whispered, closing her eyes again. In just a few seconds she was out for the count again. Thelma smiled fondly at her, before getting up and leaving the room...