Love is a Sacrifice (Fan Fiction)

[Desultory]

Thelma smiled a smile of relief as she shut the door gently behind her. Breathing deeply, she leaned against the door, closing her eyes. Cassie was Cassie. And she loved her. That was all she needed to know right now. Everything was going to be alright. "I'll make things go right this time..." Thelma spoke softly to herself, as she no longer had comfort in Cassie's ears.

"Miss Bates?" An unfamilar voice broke Thelma's daydream, a plastic, patronising voice. Her eyes slowly opened, to find a small group of doctors and care staff in front of her, whom she now recognised by their faces - they were from the institution. "We were informed that your friend, Cassandra, has come out of her comatose state. We need to discuss... arrangements with you, as you appear to be the closest person to her. Well, apart from her mother..." the sickening voice broke off there, not daring to say what Thelma knew would have come next. Arrangements? What did they mean by that?

"We are aware of Cassandra's attempted suicide, and we advise that for her safety, she should be kept in the institute permenantly."

Thelma's face screwed up, angrily. "There is nothing wrong with Cassie! She fell! It was an... an accident. An accident..." she shot a hard, vicious stare at the "suicide watcher" who should have been outside Cassie's room at all times... who, on the night of what could have been her death, wasn't, "that could have been prevented if it wasn't for your hospital's incompetence." The doctors and care staff remained silent, ignoring the words of the only person who seemed to truly understand their patient. "We feel it would be beneficial, for both you and Miss Hughes. She needs help."

Thelma, trying hard to hold herself together for Cassie's sake, leaned back against the door, feeling defeated. "I can't explain it, really... I just know. Can't you understand that? We connect. I can do better for her than any official treatment, because I love her. And she..." Thelma paused to inhale, and then, desperately holding back tears, said boldy - "...she loves me."

[Jimjamz]

It was clear to Thelma now. They had to run away. Far away. She could tell no amount of heartfelt words proffessing her love for Cassie could change the staff's mind. As far as they were concerned, she was just another name on a long list, a being without feelings. They didnt know how loved, how needed she was. They didnt care.
A thousand thoughts ran through Thelma's mind as she neared Medenham. She'd finally agreed to go home, just for a shower, to get some fresh clothes. Then she was going straight back to the hospital.
The problem was, she didnt no how long Cassie would need to stay in hospital, and when they planned to admit her to the institution again. She couldnt run away when Cassie was still ill, but what if she was admitted before she was strong enough to escape? She'd never get her out of that institution once she was in.
"Hey, Thelma!" The spiky haired girl turned round. Roxanne was running after her, sporting a new stylish haircut. Thelma grinned at the memory of causing that change...
"I heard about Cassie" She said in a sympathetic voice. Thelma looked at her in suprise. Was this for real? "How is she...I heard you nearly lost her"
"As a matter of fact, I did" Thelma gave her a scathing look, "No thanks to you, of course"
"So...did she really...I mean...did she do that to herself?" Thelma sighed. It was too good to be true. Roxanne was just trying to get gossip she could spread around the school.
"Why should I tell you? You just want to know so you can run off and tell your little friends" She grabbed the girl by the collar, and pushed her against a locker.
"Well you can tell them this" She whispered viciously, "Whatever happened to Cassie, part of its there fault. And yours. If you hadnt of been so determined to split us up NONE of this would've happened!" She let go, and threw the shocked girl one last filthy look, before she turned on her heel and walked towards her room...

[Fassbender Fan]

Roxanne quikcly recovered from the shock and composed herself shouting after Thelma

"copping a feel again Thelma? How many times do I have to tell you...." her voice trailed off as a small crowd had formed to listen and giggle. Roxanne smiled happy with her comebacks effect.

Thelma paused. Wanting to respond but deciding not to. She took a deep breath and continued to her room. She had more important things to worry about that Roxanne...

"Thelma. Thelma." Tyrell jogged towards her,

"Hows Cassie, I had a call this afternoon, its great news"


Thelma lifted her eyes from the floor, at least there was one other person who cared about Cassie. She smiled. Seeing the obvious anguish on Thelma's tired face Tyrell took her to his office.

"Come..we'll have a chat about things. Your made of strong stuff Thelma Bates"

[Jimjamz]

"Cassie...Cassie!" She ran, the cold bringing goosebumps onto her arms, the darkness blinding her...

Cassie opened her eyes, blearily staring around at the room. The walls were painted white, giving it a cold, clinical look. She shook her head. Or tried to. Her whole body felt heavy. Where was she?
She spotted a wire running along the bed and remembered where she was. The hospital. Thelma had told her what had happened.
A nurse walked into the room, carrying a tray full of various needles and bottles. She gave Cassie a warm smile.
"Nice to see you awake, Miss Hughes" She said, setting down the tray and beginning to prepare an injection, "You've been out of it for ages"
She tried to ask where Thelma was, but for some reason only half of her sentence came out. This frustrated Cassie. She tried again, but this time nothing came out.
"Miss Bates just went home for a bit" The nurse said, busying herself with one of the drips, "The first time since you came in here, actually. Never left your side"
Cassie smiled to herself. It was just like Thelma to do that. Whenever she worried about things, she really worried about things. She tried to remember some of the occasions when Thelma had been like that, but strangely she couldnt at all.
"Why cant move?" She asked in a weak voice. She vaguely remembered Thelma saying something about that, but she couldnt think what.
"Thats probably all these drugs were giving you. Otherwise you'd be in a lot of pain, and we wouldnt want that, would we?"
Cassie was just about to ask what exactly was wrong with her, but the nurse had left the room. About five minutes later a team of porters walked in.
"Were just taking you to radiology for some scans..." One of them said. Cassie nodded. She was feeling tired again...

[Fassbender Fan]

*inside Tyrell's office*

...and so you see she couldn't have done it. She wouldn't. I know Cassie.." Thelma's voice became panicky,

"Thelma..calm down. It's ok. I believe you." Tyrell placed a hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner, kneeling beside her chair he looked her in the eye

"You have to understand how this looks, Cassie admitted she wanted to kill herself to you did she not? And then this happens, its a hell of a coincidence.."

"B..Bu.." Thelma began to interrupt..

"Just wait...I'll speak to the doctors but I can't promise anything. Until then I think it's best you spend a little more time away from Cassie"

Thelma's face dropped-there was no way she was leaving Cassie. Breaking her promise..

"By all means visit her she needs your company but you can't let this take you down too.." He stood up and returned to his own seat, shuffling papers back and forth...

[Jimjamz]

"Take me down?" Thelma repeated blankly.

"Your a talented girl, Thelma. You've missed a lot of school these past few weeks. and your getting desperatly behind" He looked up at her and gave her a warm smile, which Thelma returned with a glare. How could he talk like that?

"So what are you saying?" She said, her voice shaking with anger, "That school work is more important to Cassie's well being?

"Not at all" Tyrrel said, slightly taken aback by her anger. Thelma had never been anything but polite to him, even when Cassie had been in the insitution.

"Oh, so I suppose you mean Cassie is bringing this all on herself? That I should stop associating with her because she'll bring me down too?"

Before Tyrell could reply, Thelma stood up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. They didnt understand at all, she thought to herself as she made her way to the showers. She thought she had found someone else who understood Cassie like she did, but it turned out she hadnt. They all thought she was mad, twisted. They were wrong.

Thought like this played back and forth in her mind as she showered. She didnt believe that Tyrell could get the doctors to not admit Cassie to the institution. She didnt want them to have to run, but what other choice did they have?

"What do you think about Cassie then?"

Thelma peered around the curtain, and spotted two girls from her year standing at the sink, applying there make-up. It apeared they hadnt noticed her, as they went on chatting about it.

"She clearly did it herself" One said, chuckling dryly. Thelma wrapped a towl around herself and stepped out of the shower.

"Oh..." One of them said, turning round and smirking at the spiky haired girl, "Didnt see you there...We hear she's awake now"

Thelma didnt reply, but stalked off into the changing rooms. Wouldnt anyone believe that it was an accident?

[Fassbender Fan]

Thelma sat on the edge of her bed staring blindly at Cassie's..water trickled down her ankles as she sat shivering in her towel, her spiky fringe dripping water onto her lap.

She closed her eyes and lay back on the bed closing her eyes. Closing them to the world; because without Cassie there was no world, not to Thelma anyway. it was just the two of them. Always had been, but now she was alone.

The exhaustion caused Thelma to fall asleep, when she opened her eyes it was morning. Shocked she sat up to find herself naked, her towel mixed amongst the damp baeclothes. Running a hand through her now dry hair Thelma began to get dressed..

"Aaahhhchoo.."

Alarm bells rang in Thelma's hed, she can't get ill, she had to look after Cassie!

"Aaahhhchoooo.." Clasping her hand over her mouth Thelma hurriedly dressed and left the room. Jogging down the stairs she made her way to the entrance-she was going to see Cassie no matter what Tyrell said!

Her exit was cut short by a collision..

"Why don't you watch whe..." Thelma began, stopping when she saw who it was she had run into. her eyes widened..

"Hello Thelma.." the voice echoed through her ears, her mouth dropping open, the only sound to emerge; a sneeze..

[Jimjamz]

"What are you doing here?" She asked blankly, taking a step back. She looked the man up and down, who gave her what he evidently thought was a warm smile and tapped the folder under his arm. He was the man from the institution.

"Im here to discuss Cassandra's arrangements" He said silkily, peering into the hall behind Thelma, "You wouldnt no where Mr.Tyrell is, would you?"

"Theres no need for arrangements" Thelma said angrily, pushing past the man.

On the way to the hospital all she thought about was what they were going to do. She couldnt stop sneezing, and was getting angry looks from mothers who shielded there children from the germs.

"Cassie, we really need-" She broke off and stared at the empty bed, panic pulsing through her veins. She span around, taking in the room. All of the flowers had gone. The bed was freshly made up of new sheets.

"Cass-ACHOO!" She ran into the corridor, and made her way to the nurses office. Surely not...Cassie had been fine when she'd left...

"Wher-wher-ACHOO!" She asked as she burst into the office. A nurse gave her a glare.

"What are you doing? This is a ward for critically ill patients, and your spreading your germs! Get out!" She stood up, and started shooing Thelma out of the ward...

[Fassbender Fan]

"B..But..Achooo...Cassie..Where is sh..achhoooo" that last sneeze made her dizzy, suddenly everything was spinning, the lights were dimming until...darkness.

Opening her eyes hesitantly Thelma was greeted with the cold linoleum floor against her right cheek and a rush of hospital staff's feet in her direction. She felt herself being lifted, her legs felt weak..

Sat on the edge of a bed in the ward she was previously being shooed from Thelma sulked with a thermometer in her mouth. What good was this doing? She needed to find Cassie! But she had neither the energy or the strength to fight through the crowd now surrounding her.

A male nurse removed the thermometer and peered at it frowning.

"I'm afraid it's no good Miss Bates you have to go home and get some wrest. You have a mild case of the flu and we can't have you running around like a headless chicken with that now can we.."

"B..B.." She began to interrupt but was silenced by the appearance of her english teacher Miss Watkins..

"Hello Thelma. I'm here to take you back to Medenham, don't worry you're going to be fine in a few days..."

[Jimjamz]

Cassie's days passed in a haze of tiredness and confusion. It could be quite frightening sometimes, when she'd wake up and not know where she was. She hadnt seen Thelma in a while, she couldnt say how long as sometimes an hour could seem like a minute and a minute an hour. As they gradually began to ween her off the drugs she'd depended on in her comatose state she was starting to feel the pain from the injurys she'd suffered.
"Feeling any better today then?" It was the doctor, who came to see her every other day. He'd ask how she was, talk to her about the drugs she was having to take, which was, quite frankly, quite useless. Cassie never remembered anything he had said to her. She couldnt remember barely anything anymore. Strangely though, she could recall everything what Thelma had said to her.
"Wheres Thelma?" She asked. It was quite difficult to speak, but not as hard as it had been when she'd first woken up. The doctor sighed.
"Thelma has flu, so we cant let her come in and see you, in case she infects you" He said, "I see your still struggling remembering things then, I told you that just yesterday" He wrote a note down on the clipboard he was holding.
********************************************

She had to see Cassie. She was going out of her mid with worry, and she had this rotten flu. It had been four days since she'd last set eyes on her. The doctors had moved her out of ICU now, but she was still in her own private room.

"She must be missing me, she'll be really confused without me there" Thelma moaned. Jo had called in to check on her.

"Cassie is absolutely fine. The doctors called yesterday. She's mostly sleeping, so no harm done, eh? Just concentrate on getting yourself better" She smiled warmly at the worried girl, and laid a hand on her forhead.

"Still hot" She said worredly, "Are you sure you dont need to go to the doctors?"

"Im absolutely fine, this is nothing. Did the doctors say anything else?"

"Well, the results of the scan showed she has lots of damage the part of her brain that affects her memory, you know that. She still has a very poor memory. There not sure if she'll ever gain it all back"...

[BHA]

"But she won't forget me?" Thelma asked fearfully, a tear running down her cheek.

"No i don't think that could ever happen"

"but that's not good enough, i need to *know* she won't forget me, that all this has been for nothing. She can't forget that i love her!"

And with that Thelma broke down and poured out her heart to Jo. All the feelings she'd kept bottled up over the past few months came tumbeling out, and all the while Jo sat and listened with a concerned expression on her face until there was no more Thelma could say and she started crying, burying her face in her hands.

"I tell you what Thelma" Jo said tentatively

Thelma looked up from her hands and stared at her

"I know how to get you in to see Cassie"

[Jimjamz]

Thelma smiled fondly at the sleeping girl before her. She hadnt seen her in so long. In her absence many changes had been brought about. For a start, a few of the machines hooked up to Cassie had been taken away, so only two were left. The bandage had been taken off, revealing a long, ugly scar. Thelma tore her eyes away from it, and sat down next to the bed.
Leaning forward slightly, she brushed Cassies hair back with her hand and planted a kiss on her forhead. The blonde slowly opened her eyes, and a wry smile played across her face when she spotted Thelma.
"Hello" She said. Her voice was stronger now, almost like it had been before the accident.
"How are you? Thelma asked, her voice husky because of the cold that she had. She took one of Cassie's hands in her own.
"Sore" She said, "Where have you been?"
"Didnt they tell you? I had flu, so I wasnt alowwed to come in"
"I dont think they did" She tore her gaze away from Thelma and turned to look at the flowers that decorated the room. She looked back at the spiky haired girl.
"You know...I cant remember" She said slowly, "What its like...to kiss you" She gave her a wistful look. Thelma smiled nervously at her.
"Do you want to remember?" Thelma asked, moving to sit on the bed next to Cassie, who nodded. She leaned in, capturing Cassie's lips in a deep kiss, which she eagerly responded too. They kissed for a matter of minutes, before there moment of tenderness was broken by a loud voice.
"Just WHAT are you doing?"

[Fassbender Fan]

The voice shocked the girls, so much so that Thelma fell over onto the floor. In a heap she pushed her skirt down and looked up at the intruder.

Hmpff, she sulked it was the same doctor that had annoyed her before, he had a knack of interrupting moments for her..

"Honestly...you'd think..oh nevermind. I've come to give you some good news"

"Can I go home?" Cassie's face lit up as she stared eagerly at the doctor's face.

"As a matter of fact you can!"

The words rang in Thelma's ears, it seemed like an age before she could get her body to react to the news. Jumping up she screamed, hugging the doctor she had previously resented with an energetic exitement. She ran over to hug Cassie, burying Cassie's head into her chest she kissed her blonde hair whispering..

"You're coming home darling, everything's going to be ok..." She emraced her friend tightly gently rocking her in her arms like a child.

Once again the doctor interrupted the moment. Clearing his throat,

"One thing I must mention though..

[Jimjamz]

Thelma and Cassie both turned to stare at him. He gave them a sad look and sat down on the edge of Cassie's bed.
"Im afraid..." He looked straight at Cassie, "It wont be home...as you remember it"
Thelma clung on tighter to Cassie, all the while glaring at the doctor, silently daring him to say what she knew he was trying to.
"Im sorry. You'll have to go into the institution"
"Institution?...what institution..." Cassie obviously didnt remember. He gave a frustrated sigh, and stood up.
"I'll explain everything to you in a few minutes...I need to have a few words with Miss Bates in my office" He turned and left the room.
"Dont listen to him" Thelma soothed, "They have this idea...that there going to try and take you away from me" Cassies eyes widened in fear "But im not going to let that happen. I'll explain when I get back. I'll be gone a few minutes...no more"
She gave Cassie a gentle kiss on the lips and left for the doctors office. She was furious he'd said all of that in front of Cassie.
"Have a seat" He said when she entered the room, gesturing towards the chair in front of him. Thelma folded her arms and shot him a filthy look.
"I'd rather stand" She said coldly, insolently leaning against the door. The doctor shrugged and took out a few sheets of paper.
"As you know, the institute would like Cassandra to reside there permanently, following her suicide attempt"
"How many times?" Thelma spat, standing up straight, "It wasnt a suicide attempt. She fell"
He went on as if Thelma had never spoken, "If Cassandra went home normally, she wouldnt be able to cope. Her brain injurys were almost fatal, and she has had damage to her speech, memory and quite possibly mobility. These injurys usually result in drastic personality changes and violent mood swings, on top of many other problems"
"She's not had any of mood swings yet" She said, "She's still the same person, I know she is. We've had a hell of a lot thrown at us these past few months. We can get through this. Cant you see admitting her would just make her ten times worse than she would be if she stayed with me?"

[Fassbender Fan]

"Thelma. This is not open for debate, Cassie will be admitted to the institution whether you like it or not" the doctor closed his folder and stood up

"How dare..." Thelma's cheeks glowed as she began to argue, falling short to the tears now streaming down her face.."So If I threw myself down the stairs you'd admit me to?!"

The Doctor's expression softened, "I am sorry Thelma, truely I am but its what has to be done" he placed his hands on her shoulders

Stuggling to breath normally Thelma looked up her eyes red and her eyeliner running,

"I know..." she whispered admitting defeat